


My Heart is a Grenade

by asterixn



Series: My Heart Beats Fast For Her - PJO Femslash Week 2018 [1]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Basically, F/F, Femslash, One Shot, PJO Femslash Weeks, Spoiler Alert - Freeform, also, also probably the most romantic thing i've written in my life, basically percy jackson and the olympians, but i dont like writing romance so that makes sense, except annabeth falls for rachel instead of percy, its very gay, percy and annabeth are still best friends, theyre just not in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 13:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15797058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterixn/pseuds/asterixn
Summary: Annabeth is jealous, not because she like Percy, but because she likes Rachel





	My Heart is a Grenade

**Author's Note:**

> day 1: sunday
> 
> for the prompt "firsts"

Annabeth was self-aware. She had to be. As a daughter of Athena, she knew that in order to win a battle you had to know both your enemy and yourself. Psychoanalysing herself?  _ Please.  _ At this point in her life, she practically did that in her sleep. If Annabeth was anything, she was certainly self-aware.

 

Having such cognizance, it wasn’t hard to figure out her jealousy. Contrary to the obvious suspicions of many of the demigods she knew, she did not have a crush on Percy— she had a crush on  _ Rachel.  _

 

In hindsight, it made a lot of sense.

 

Nevertheless, she continued to pine for what seemed like years. Annabeth had never liked a girl before, not _that_ way, at least. In all honesty, she didn’t think that she’d ever liked _anyone_ that way before, regardless of gender. For a time, she’d thought, maybe _,_ _maybe_ Percy? But, no. Her feelings for Percy were purely platonic. Her feelings for Rachel? Not so much.

 

Again, though. She’d never felt this way about, well, anyone before. It was a first for her. How the Hades does she even proceed? How would she know if Rachel even felt the same? So many questions. So few answers. 

 

Annabeth hated this, hated the uncertainty. But she didn’t exactly know what else to do. So she did what she did best. She kept quiet and played out situations in her head, hundreds upon hundreds of scenarios that would never ever happen, but made her feel as if she was actually doing something productive.

 

Annabeth watches, or maybe more accurately stares in slight awe as Rachel navigates them through the Labyrinth and gets them out of several binds. She’s just a mortal girl thrown into Annabeth’s crazy world of gods and monsters and  _ titans.  _ But Rachel seems to manage just fine, even hitting the Lord of Time himself in the eye with a plastic hairbrush at one point. She— she’s so— so _ competent,  _ so  _ beautiful _ , so  _ bold _ , and  _ well-spoken, _ and  _ brave  _ and— well, Annabeth thinks she could go on forever. 

 

Annabeth is in love with Rachel Elizabeth Dare.

 

There is no “maybe” or “might be,” just  _ is.  _ It’s a tautology— a universal truth. It’s simple fact, but still so hard to act on.

 

Annabeth knows she can be mean, she’s sad to say it’s one of her many faults. She hates that part of herself, the part that can be judgemental and unfair and she does her best to counter it. She does, but sometimes she’s mean and nasty anyway.

 

Rachel seems to be getting along well with Percy, maybe  _ too  _ well. And her jealousy — jealousy of Percy because Rachel may or may not like him and she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do and Percy, of all people, is the only one who even knows she’s gay and therein lies the obvious problem with going to him for advice and internally she’s kinda-maybe-sorta panicking — makes her act unfairly, to both of them.

 

Annabeth regrets that a lot, but there isn’t exactly much she can do — it’s in the past now — other than step aside if Rachel really does want to pursue a relationship with him. Annabeth loves Rachel, loves her. And if Percy makes Rachel happy, then Annabeth will do her best to not get in the way of that. She succeeds… mostly, at least.

 

But time goes by, and nothing really happens— between Rachel and Percy, and also between Rachel and Annabeth.

 

Then comes the war. It’s  _ big,  _ and  _ bad,  _ and so, so  _ bloody. _

 

Rachel is brave, of course she is. And Annabeth does her best to be brave as well. She is no less in love with Rachel, maybe even more than she was before.

 

There is so much bloodshed, and in the midst of it all, she takes a poisoned knife for Percy. She’s been pretty close to death before, but in the pain, it feels so much closer than ever before. She’s almost drowning in the pain now, and she promises herself that if she somehow manages to survive, she’ll tell Rachel how she feels, how she  _ really  _ feels.

 

And then the miracle of all miracles happens, and Annabeth survives.

 

Percy lives too, and though she may not love him the same way she loves Rachel, she does love him. Percy is her best friend, for better or worse, and she doesn’t think she could live without him.

 

But, and maybe most importantly, Rachel lives.

 

The memory of getting injured is blurry with pain, but she remembers her oath to herself vividly, and she intends to keep it, though maybe not at this exact moment. Rachel is the new Oracle. Strangely, Annabeth isn’t surprised. Rachel is incredible, and becoming the Oracle is just the sort of amazing wonderful thing that Annabeth knows Rachel is easily capable of. Annabeth is still uncertain, though, more uncertain than she’s been in a while. As unsurprising as Rachel becoming the Oracle is, it’s also an unknown variable. What if this changes things? What if, even worse, there was nothing to change in the first place?

 

Still, Annabeth steels herself. She waits a few days, things have been a bit hectic with the whole _ “the second Titan War just happened and we’re actually still here” _ thing, and then she confronts Rachel.

 

Annabeth finds her on the beach. She’d asked around and Clarisse, though she’d raised her eyebrows almost suggestively, had told her where to find Rachel. Annabeth half expects to find her there with Percy, but when she finally makes her way to the beach, she finds Rachel laying on the sand, staring up at the stars.

 

“Rachel,” she begins, not sure what else to say, as she sits down on the cool sand next to Rachel.

 

“Hey, Annabeth,” Rachel answers, but she hasn’t moved. She takes one last glance at the night sky before sitting up, looking inquisitively at Annabeth. “What’s up?”

“I—” Annabeth’s resolve has crumbled in the few seconds she’s been here, but she soldiers on. She survived a war, she can get through this.

 

“I like you, Rachel Elizabeth Dare. I, uh, I like you a lot,” Annabeth confesses, and her heart pounds harder than it ever has.

 

But Rachel just smiles and takes Annabeth’s hands in her own. As if they have a mind of their own, Annabeth’s fingers interlace with Rachel’s.

 

“I like you, too, Annabeth Chase,” Rachel confides.

 

Impossibly, Annabeth's heart beats faster.

 

And then, all of a sudden, Rachel is leaning closer. And then Annabeth is also leaning closer. And then Rachel keeps leaning and Annabeth is also still leaning and Annabeth is  _ pretty sure _ she knows what’s about to happen but at the same time this is the moment she’s  _ dreamed  _ about for over a year and it’s very surreal, so surreal she thinks she might still be dreaming.

 

And then their lips touch.

 

It is everything Annabeth has ever imagined, and so much  _ more. _

 

Her first love, her first kiss, a new beginning— free from the horrors they’ve endured these past few years. It is a delight she is all too happy to partake in. 

 

Annabeth closes her eyes and lets her instincts take over as she is consumed by their kiss.

 

Her heart erupts in an explosion of  _ color _ and  _ feeling. _

 

And so does her world.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my fic for day 1, sunday. its a bit early but i liked it too much to wait. so this is for pjo femslash week 2018, as you've probably already seen. make sure to check them out on their tumblr pjofemslashweek for more content. also i would love if anyone could follow my newly established (solely for writing) blog on tumblr, vault-of-stars, for more of my writing and just because it would make my day.
> 
> thank you so much for reading, there's still six more one-shots on the way so make sure to subscribe to this series!


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